Monday, August 9, 2010

Finding Grace In Her Smile

Finding Grace In Her Smile: A story of discovering love and grace when all seemed lost.

{Part I: The Beginning}

It is time.  It has been seven months since the day our lives took a drastic turn and I’m finally ready to let go and tell our story.
Children, I believe, are how I was created to serve and love the God who created me.  There is something about children that bring out an honest side to me.  The real side of me. 
In high school I met and dated my now husband.  I was a sophomore and he was a junior.  We were in Algabra 2 together and he would offer to turn in my homework assignments for me.  I thought he was being flirtatious, so immature me had to crush on him back.  I soon found out that he was being oh-so-kind because he needed my assignments to copy off of.  Silly, little immature me. 
However, at the end of the semester, I received an orange note on my desk while taking the final exam asking for my phone number.  I saw him continue to walk to the front of the class towards the teacher’s desk and turn in his test just 15 minutes into it.  As he started walking back with his beak of his black hat covering his eyes, I slyly slipped the bright orange note back into his hand with my home phone number written with pencil in my best and most impressive penmanship.
After three days and an almost Disneyland date for me with another guy, he called and two weeks later we were calling each other “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”.  And two break-ups and 5 years later we wed on a Saturday morning with friends, family, and lots of people we didn’t know {you know how those mothers of the bride and groom are with their first wedding}. 
We eventually settled down in our hometown in the perfect little two bedroom home tucked back by a long private driveway with a gated pool (planned perfectly for preventing wandering kiddos) and a large kitchen that would make any newly married 22 year old wanna-be Susie Homemaker proud.  We filled the home with nice furniture, stocked the shelves with nice things, set the table with new dishes and tableware, made the bed with fancy duvets, and stocked the garage with a Toyota Tacoma and Honda Pilot.  We were the classic young American family making our way to our “rightful” place in America’s Middle Class.
My husband was the lead electrical mechanic at a water pump company, while I was the lead instructor at a children’s gym.  We both were active in our church, where we were both employed as the Youth Directors and hosted weekly youth gatherings at our home.  We were settled and ready to start a family. 
Quickly after we decided to start trying for a little one, I woke up in anxiousness to see those two pink lines.  After my husband left for work and I saw his truck pull out of the driveway and turn onto the street to drive away, I jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom holding my bladder in hopes this would be the time!  And it was!!! 
I was so excited.  I wanted to scream at the top of my lungs and run around the neighborhood waiving the perfectly peed on stick high in the air.  Instead, I made a call to my sister sleeping soundly in Australia.  It was the middle of the night there, but I wanted her to be the first to know.  After I got off the phone, I got dressed and grabbed my purse and headed out the door to purchase little baby items to decorate the house with before my husband got home to surprise him with the news.  I was so elated that I locked the door with the keys inside.  I called my husband, but had to be so careful not to spill the secret.  He suggested I climb in the kitchen window using one of our patio chairs.  I thought you have GOT to be kidding me.  He had no idea our little baby was snuggled safely inside my belly, otherwise I’m sure being a new dad, he would have had other easier suggestions. 
So I crawled and wiggled through the kitchen window.  3 hours later I was home safe with bags of baby bottles and newborn Onesies.  I crafted a sign to hold while he walked through the front door.  I waited the longest 2 hours for him to come home.

When he walked through the door, he stood there, read the sign and quietly gave me a big hug.  It was the start to the rest of our lives.  Two weeks later I would be sitting on the edge of my bed with the doctor on the other on the other end of the phone reading the results of our first ultrasound, “I’m sorry, we couldn’t find a heartbeat.”      


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  1. Such a sweet way to let your husband know the news.

    I'm ready to read part II. I know how sometimes life throws us curve-balls. It is in the way we come up to bat that matters.

  2. I love the idea of holding up the can see the happiness in the photo and what a treasure to have as a reminder of that special moment.

  3. Sorry...I hit enter before finishing my comment!

    I'm sorry to hear about the loss. My sister had a miscarriage a few years back and it was agony to watch her go through that.

    And you have me totally curious about the next part of the story.

  4. I'll be back to read Part 2...

    My God's blessings be with you tonight! The pictures from your trip were awesome!
    Big Fat Mama

  5. What a great idea!!!!!!! it was soooo cute =))) sorry I am late on commenting on this I am catching on my blog reading!! Now I going to read part II ;)