Monday, August 30, 2010

So This Is What It Feels Like to Live Life

Songs spark the creativity in me.  They really do.  So this week, aside from my photo blog hops, my posts will be inspired by lyrics to songs that have struck a cord within my heart and 'caused me to re-evaluate this situation I live in.

This is a whole new world for me.  Some place where I have never had to walk through before.  Many have gone before me.  Many are there now.  More are in it far deeper than I might ever go.  Some make it through, others find themselves struggling to make it out.  This is what it is like to be broke.

My little family, got a chance to house sit (as you've probably been noticing) in exchange for us watering the beautiful backyard garden every day.  With only one more week left, we took advantage of the nearby activities: Forest Falls.  We packed ourselves a lunch and drove the 5 minutes to a nearby mountain creek.  It was a much needed break from the stressful demands people manage to place on us and the demands we've placed on ourselves.  

It was beautiful.  A cool, 63 degree weather with no cloud in sight.  The water rushed over (most likely man made) dams and the gorgeous white water waves hit the rocks like a kid hits a candy store: full force.    

The previous night before I broke down from the pressure of what the world brings.  Can we keep up?  Can we make it?  Are we suffering for previous mistakes?  Are we reaping what we sow?  And then there were the comments people make about us.  You're being irresponsible!  You should have thought about that before hand!  You're being unreasonable!  You're lazy!  You need to step it up!  I couldn't be strong anymore.  I had tried so hard to be strong for my husband's sake.  I knew his heart and soul was heavy with the desire to provide for his family.  He desires to give us the world and Lead Us {a later post}, but in these harder times, I knew he was struggling, so I had to be strong.  But that night, as we laid in bed, I cuddled close and cried.  How are we going to make it? He let me cry and he held me.  Instead of telling me all the things I already knew deep down.  He just let me cry.  He promised that through it all, we would have each other.  

The next morning, I grabbed my phone resting on the night stand.  There was a blinking light indicating I had received a Facebook email from a friend.  She wrote to encourage me.  She wanted to write to thank me for my willingness to document our journey because it inspired her to look at life a little different.  Goodness, I did that?  I cried.  But this time, a happy cry.  A cry of thankfulness for the reminder that we have not been promised that we would not struggle or have problems, but that He who came, overcame the world (John 16:33).  

Here we are.  In Forest Falls taking back what is ours... LIFE.  

And because using the timer mode always brings laughter as we race to get into position before the click sound goes off on the camera, we could not leave these pictures out...
 So, this is what it feels like to live life.  There is freedom in the emptyness.  Freedom to go and do where our passions lead.  Freedom to love because there is nothing holding us back.  We might not have it down pat.  We might just be on some peoples' "People Who Are Irresponsible" list.  We might not know how on earth we're going to pay the bills coming up at the beginning of the month... but we have been promised LIFE and that is all I could ask for.  

So times will get tough.  And they will get tougher  Yes, I will break down.  Yes, I will be irrational {though I try not to}.  Yes, I will do what it takes.  Yes, there is always someone who is struggling a little harder.  Yes, their will always be someone with less.  That is why I must press on and live this life.   



  1. love the pictures, I love the last black and white one the most. Wow, it really captures the same facial expression on both momma and baby's face. Looks like alot of fun!

  2. I barely know you and your little family but I love you guys! You're such a strong wife and mommy. You have your ups and downs but I really admire your faith in Him <3

  3. Beautiful photos, wonderful words. I don't really know you or your family, but you guys are in my prayers. The Lord knows the plans for you, plans for you to prosper. I'm sorry there are nay-sayers in your life. Keep strong!

  4. Girl, you inspire me.

    Let me tell you... from another girl who is sitting in a similar situation... There is SO much freedom in the so called emptiness...

    Kyle and I got married very quickly, because we felt right about it, and we knew the hand of God was on our marriage... But right before we got married we BOTH lost our jobs. We were getting married in one month, with no money, no prospect of having an apartment of our own... But we knew we were supposed to be married, and it was our greatest desire. So, we got married.

    Since then, we have lived with my parents for the past year and a half... Broke as a joke. We both have worked our butts off, but we haven't been able to move out yet. We finally decided that we didn't want to work dead end jobs for the rest of our lives, but really pursue the dreams we had in our hearts... And so we have, but at the expense of never having our own place yet. A lot of people have judged us for our choices, and I am sure people have thought we are unwise. But the truth is-- it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what other people think. All that matters is you, your husband, and the Lord.

    I totally understand the feeling of trying to be strong for your husband. There are times when I feel like I will never know what it feels like to be financially okay, and what it feels like to be married without parents around. 99% of the time I can be strong. But girl, I know what it feels like to breakdown.

    God has you guys in the palm of his hand. He has both preceeded you, and followed you, and he places his hand of blessing on your head. And he is SO proud of you being such a strong momma and wife.

    You are a beautiful woman who inspires me to be strong as well.

    You will be in my prayers every time I think of you!

    (Sorry this was so long!)

  5. Thank you ladies... :0) I love what this blog world does, 'cause each of you have a special place in my heart! SERIOUSLY!

    Mandy- darn, I wanted to email you back but you have a "non-reply blogger" attached to you. Pooooo! We don't have our own place yet either, and in case you're wondering if it can be done with a baby... INDEED IT CAN!

  6. Oops! I think I blocked my email a long time ago bc some creepy old guy was on my page. My email is

  7. This song has hit a cord with me lately too! Your pictures are breathtaking and so our your words! Such an inspiration you are!

  8. What an absolutely beautiful walk it looks like!! Breath taking!! :)
    You are an inspiration.

  9. love the photos. This post was so true and so, so inspirational. Know that you are all in my prayers. :) Things are going to come to pass perfectly in HIS time.

  10. I love the pictures !!! Your family is beautiful !!

  11. thanks for being so honest in your blog, i'm sure so many people feel they have to make their life appear different then it really is.