Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Did I Choose To Love?

I woke up this morning tired, cranky and desperate for a few more hours of snoozes.  I grabbed my daughter, lied on the couch with "Special Agent Oso" on the tele, and had a conversation in my head on why Jon needed to be up so that I can get on the computer.

I did however, catch some cuddles and kisses, then went and woke up daddy so mommy could work.

I got to my computer, turned it on, sipped a cup of coffee, turned on Google Reader and basically got my butt KICKED!  In such a beautiful way.

How I got caught back up in it, I do not know.  But I found myself back into my comfortable self state of selfishness and greed, all the while hearing the gentle whisper calling me to a deeper place of Love.

What we gave up years ago still does not seem attractive.  And what he left behind when we died to ourselves is nothing to us anymore.  But the temptations of what is in front of us in the culture we live in shines with such an image of desire that I drown out the whisper of Truth.

But when I read this post and this post, I was reminded of what I am called to do.  And the whisper that resonates in my soul grew louder and louder.

Jon received another letter recently in the mail rejecting his application for hire.  I know my husband has taken many blows to his self esteem every time he's checked the mail.  And I can't count the number of times he's felt the heavy burden when people get on him about a job.

They mean well.  I know they do.

But I have to say, that despite the punches to the gut or the kick in the esteem, my husband continues to push our family for more.  For more of something outside of ourselves and into something more beautiful!
I first saw this video here this morning and absolutely HAD to pass it on.

We are constantly asking ourselves "Did I choose to love?"  And often times that answer is no.  But that Love is what pushes our family to give it all up and lose it all and do something Radical for the sake of Christ within US!



  1. Jhen - you amaze me. Just when I need to hear something, you are there. I just wrote about getting off my butt and doing something. I obviously needed to hear it again. Wow.

  2. How easy it is to slip into the ditch of selfishness and greed. Thank you for a great reminder:)

  3. Amazing post & video. Thanks for sharing =) xo

  4. Oh Jhen, this is such a good post. You are such a good wife to a man who Satan may be trying to tell him he's insignificant and not worthy and YOU can build him up and show him how amazing he is so that he can go thru this time strong and courageous! You are such a good example to us girls. Thank you!

  5. I'm quite sure that God is allowing doors to stay closed until the right one is opened to you and your husband. The repeatedly closing doors can become discouraging and other people can assume what they will but, God is just getting you both to the right place! God give you both peace, confidence that he is doing a good work in you and hope to keep chugging until you get to the next step in your life journey! Your hubby's heart for the Lord is an awesome thing! God Bless you guys! Great video...I listened to it while Daisy hung on my leg and I fed her dinner. lol

  6. I like what Casey said. And I love the way you wrote this! Praying for your husband's job situation, as we are struggling too.

    I also wanted to share with you that my neighbor, who is a computer programer, looked at my blog last night and was so impressed with the design! :) I told him about you and your sweet generosity in doing it!

  7. I think you are doing a splendid job my dear :)

  8. that videos is such a good explanation of our complacency when it come to others in meed. we are very very spoiled.

  9. Wow! What a post, and that video! Not sure if you did it on purpose, but goes along with Lent. We need to loose ourselves to find Christ and to know what it means to be like Him. Such a great video!


  10. It's so easy to fall into selfishness. I agree with Casey...there is a reason these job offers are coming back with no avail. There is something bigger for you guys. And there is SO much more to being a great husband than a job. :) Being a SPIRITUAL leader matters more than anything. And I think Jon does a great job.

  11. Thank you for posting those links. I continue to pray for you guys, and know God has big things in store for you. Right now you are inspiring so many of us, and that kind of thing can spread like wildfire! Stay strong, beautiful girl! <3

  12. i so agree...it is so easy to become complacent.
    ...love this :) thank you so much for sharing!

  13. dang....soo true. i think about the water and food points that he made....we are swimming at water parks...playing in the water, when others are standing in LINE to get a cup.....

    makes you think.