Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Doesn't Sit Well

Right now.  At this very moment.  I am sitting here.  My head is heavy.  My heart is broken.

I have a stack of bills.  A few papers that mention collection notices.  

I want to scream and cry and pout.  I was flipping through as many websites on different financial options and banging my head against the table for all the December photo shoots I turned down so I could spend more time with the family- because right now, that extra money is LOOKING DANG GOOD.

But as I went going through one of the websites tabbed at the top of my screen- I came across this photo.  And my heart wept.  

Source: favim.com via Jhen At on Pinterest

It doesn't sit well, does it?  I'm filled with the urge to rummage through the cabinets, get all the food and formula we may have, grab blankets and all the extra money we have and swoop these two up.  Hold them and NEVER LET THEM GO.

But this is an image on a screen that I can't penetrate.  Why?  Because I am comfortably sitting in my computer chair, looking at my oversized computer monitor and not out there loving the least of these.

Right now.  At this very moment.  I need to be still.  I need to be thankful.  I need to shut up.  I need to prioritize.  I need to let go.  I need to rethink a lot of things.  I need to be patient.  

Right now.  At this very moment.  I NEED JESUS.

Right now.  At this very moment.  Millions of others do too.


  1. That image is heart-wrenching....

  2. thanks for the reminder, I needed this especially with the holidays here. breaks my heart.

  3. This got my attention. We are overwhelmed with debt and bills right now. I sit and complain at my computer screen too. Thank you for jolting me back to reality. :(

  4. Thank you for posting this! It's a reminder we all need from time to time... I definitely needed to read this!

  5. Your the best Jhen. I am so thankful to be your friend :] Pray for them and you are on the right track.

  6. Amen...
    Millions of souls need Jesus.
    We have Him!
    Let's share His love and beauty and never forget to be grateful for the joy and peace that we know, even in the midst of our own trials.

  7. thank you so much for this because even though we live differently I have the same worries and problems right now that you do. this pic was my wake up call also...my heart aches for them but at the same time I am grateful for my home our food...my husband...my children!
    I thank God for his unconditional love and mercy..even when I don't deserve it:)

  8. Wow. I was just feeling something similar in my heart and just wrote about it! I totally agree! Amen sister!

  9. this is breaking my heart. BUT GOD is what we all need. More of HIM in us is what changes these pictures. It just breaks my soul. It truly breaks my soul. I pray for a heart that desires to pour into souls the LOVE that Christ bled on the cross. Praise God for your love and sharing this. blessings girl.


  10. Amen.

    This has been a big, big, big struggle of mine as well because I've been feeling the exact same way and struggling with the same convictions. Between my husband being taken to small claims court for medical bills we can't pay, more medical bills coming in from my miscarriage last month, and having Bank of America threatening to take our house in foreclosure.... I've been wrapped up in myself a lot lately. Worried. Upset. And then I volunteered at a weather amnesty shelter last week to help out, and I realized that even if I do lose my house, I know other places and families that we could join. We'd be taken care of even if it doesn't fit the "norm" of how people should live. There's so many out there, both overseas and right in our own cities who don't have someone else, who don't have somewhere to go, who don't have resources. Maybe I need to stop focusing inward and start being a resource to others with what little that I have.

  11. Beautiful. Thank you for reminding me to stop today & be grateful for what i DO have in my life....blessings to you Ms. Stark.

  12. Such an awesome realization.
    Our church just did a series on compassion and it made my heart heavy... it made me weep... it made me realize how blessed I am to have a home, to have a husband who can provide for our family. It also makes me realize that money isn't everything. All the gifts under the tree don't mean anything when you see things like this. I pray that Jesus wraps his arms around people like that and keep them warm and safe at night.
    Thank you for this.
    Merry Christmas. :)

  13. Thank you for the reminder that we sometimes get caught up in our own "whining". We need to remember that our problems are tiny compared to the problems of others.

    For those struggling with bills please consider reading "My Total Money Makeover" by Dave Ramsey. It will not only give you hope, but a plan to have actual Financial Peace. It worked for us and now we are able to give more than we ever could.

    God Bless.

  14. OH how heartbreaking. What a call to do something.

  15. Wow.
    That really makes me want to throw up, and fly to where ever they are... and
    Hug them.
    Ugh. That is horrific.
    I just found your blog, and it is inspiring and I am following now!
    Stop by my blog and follow! :)

  16. We too have been having the same financial struggles and having the same frustration that goes along with it and yet somehow God keeps reminding me as he did you of how much I have..not how little and that perspective really changes everything but, I find it hard to hold on to that perspective here in the states. Thanks for the reminder friend and praying that God blesses the socks off of your business this year so that your red lines turn to green in Jesus name!!