Monday, April 29, 2013

Truth About Social Media // How I Pick and Choose

It's well known that we cant compare our lives via social media.  In fact, we know we shouldn't compare our lives at all.  But when it comes to social media outlets, I often find myself browsing through the photos in a facebook album and assuming she's got it all together.  Or going through her instagram feed, I'm left discouraged by all her amazing activities she takes her kids on.

I'm sure most of the time, it's rather unintentional, but we often base our ideas of a person's life on what they status update or post to their feed.  

And that's where I wanted to come in with this post...

I was with a friend the other day when she commented how I just photograph so nicely and how great I look pregnant.  

I thanked her then laughed as I leaned in and revealed a secret.  I fake it and selectively choose what to display.  

For example:  the photos in this post got me great compliments on my social media feeds.  And I was glad.  And proud.  But the truth behind the moment.  I was terribly sick and cranky.  I dragged my nauseated self, hubby, and little one to a field by our home and had the hubs take some pics.  What you don't know, is that right before I quickly brushed my hair and got out of my pj's.  As soon as we got to the field, I vomited in the bush near where I stood.  After we got back to the house, I quickly changed back into pj's and put my hair back into a bun and started browsing through the 28 images and selectively picked three that flattered my figure the most.  Keeping the unflattering images from your view... until now.
These aren't the most attractive of the set.  In fact, these were some of the worst.  I think even in the last two I was trying not to vomit.

Or take these next series of photos from this post that never made the cut...

It's similar when it comes to photographing my child.  I joke she's a natural.  And well, she kind of is... but it comes with just the one or two shots out of a series of hundreds of photos I'll take from a moment.  Or I'll reward her with ice cream if she'll patiently humor her mommy and all the directions I ask her to take.

Like this post... beautiful photos of a stunning little girl.  But typically when I ask her to smile... this is what I get:

Ultimately what you see of my life on Facebook, Instagram, or even here on my blog is what I selectively choose you to know or see.  The behind story, the ugly photos, the bad posture, the lazy days, or the bickering we do on a regular basis is not typically what I choose to display.  I show off the good parts of my life.  The pretty parts.

So although I'll keep selectively choosing what to display and what to keep private, I want you to know... this life you see on social media isn't all there is to me and my family.  There's deeply more!  There's a heart.  There's passion.  There's laughing.  There's crying.  There's days where I refuse to do what I'm supposed to do.  There's days where I forget to brush my teeth.  There's days when we cuddle and when we can't stand to be close for a moment.  There's much to me and us that doesn't make it to the monitor.  So I just hope that the next time you see a photo or read a post from me, you never feel like I have it all together.  Because I gracefully and ungracefully do not.  And that, my friends, is what I'm ok with.


  1. Thank you for writing this! I wish I knew your 'real' family in person! I used to think that I loved the 'social media' version of everyone, they all seemed so perfect. But as I've grown into a woman and a sister to the women around me, I've realized that I really do love the REAL version of families and people so so so much more. You are beautiful in your "I"m gonna puke" photos, thank you so much for sharing! :D

  2. I love this Jhen! You're still beautiful in your "not-the-greatest" photos too! :) As, always I love your heart.

  3. I love everything about this post. I totally relate with it ALL. I in NO way have it all together but my facebook sure would have you think I do. In fact my cover photo that looks so peaceful and relaxing on the beach... I had just had a HUGE, CRAZY, SCARY, PSYCHO person panic attack right before on the drive out there afraid of the traffic with my babies asleep in the car. So funny how skewed

  4. things can be seen on social media. I love how open you are and this is why I wish i lived closer :)

  5. Oh, I just love you! Your honesty is so refreshing!!

  6. I think we as bloggers ever truly share it all and only share the best. For different reason whatever they may be. But honestly even in your 'not so great moments' you're still gorgeous and your daughter is still adorable. But I definitely understand where you're coming from. ;)


  7. Love your honesty....and glad I'm not the only one that does this! :-)