Saturday, April 2, 2011

I Wanted to Be Someone...

I'm learning what it means to embrace life.  I've slowly escaped my burrows and tackled daily adventures which have left me tickled with morning dew and full of faith.

See, I've managed to create a life for myself that let me escape my reality.  I'm truly guilty of it.  But no more.

So, after I let go of the constant wanting to create an imaginary name for myself, I decided to live the name I already have: Wife and Mama.



And I have to say, it's quite freeing.  See, where I went wrong isn't in the fact that I blog, it's in the fact that I started living to blog.  Terrible, I KNOW.  Many have found ways around it.  Other's have managed to tame it.  But I, on the other hand, got sucked so deep in it, that I forgot who I was and started pretending to be someone else...

I've been honest about all that I write.  I HAVE.  But... I haven't been honest to the two people I care so much about:  My Husband and Daughter.

I wanted to do things so that I would have content that would help me grow.  I wanted to be someone in this blog world, all the while not being THE someone in the real world.

But, I'm letting go and choosing to have fun, like so many of you already are.  This is my little place in the blog world and I'm taking it back.  I'm following no rules (quite frankly, they upset me more than anything), and just having fun!


Thank goodness this little face took me back without a hesitation.  And good grief, I escaped just in time because this mama has spent too much time in front of the computer and not out sun tanning (dear goodness I'm white!)





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26 comments:

  1. Good for you!! I had been starting to feel that way too, lately. It all comes back to trying to remember why I started my blog - and trying to find a balance. And I'm definitely doing better. Just being ME. I will admit, though, I have missed our chats!

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  2. I love this post! I need to do the same!

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  3. Good for you! You have a beautiful life & such a sweet family! Embrace that =)

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  4. I just had a heavy heart to heart with my hubby this morning about how the blog world can become a very ummm, encouraging and wonderful outlet for me but, on the other hand it can become discouraging, intimidating and get my eyes and heart focussed on what I can't do or don't have instead of seeing so clearly what tremendous gifts I have in my faith, family and home. The Lord is continually speaking into my heart, "don't do anything to be somebody, just be yourself and DO what you love." Pictures aren't always perfect, I can't participate in every blog challenge or make it to ever blog conference but, my family IS ALWAYS here for me...don't want to miss them!! SO, all that to say, I think I understand you 100% and you express it so much better than I ever could!

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  5. This is so beautiful Jhen! Blogging is something good, but it is SO EASY for it to become something more than it should. Blessings to you today!

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  6. Im so glad that you were so brave to come out into the blog world and post about this! Im proud of you friend!! For some people, life is all about being a popularity contest. In the blog world Its about getting blog followers, and who can get more of them. That stinks! It takes the fun out of blogging! Heres the catch...YOU ARE SOMEONE IN HIS KINGDOM! And lets be honest...isnt that all that really matters?? I love you my sweet friend <3

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  7. Good for you - and I think you just communicated something that a lot of us feel. I've really tried to strike a balance. If you were to meet me in real life, I'm sure we would take pictures at some point but I'd really want to spend face time with you and discuss life. I try to do that in my local relationships too and just be real and not worried about creating content in that moment. It is a difficult balance. But we love you Jhen...thanks for being so real!

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  8. awesome honesty! it's def easy to do! i began 'blog hopping' the past couple wks finding that its also easy to get caught up in the 'lives' of others i don't even know vs spending extra time with the ones i do! thanks again for sharing your honesty... continue now enjoying your family! the blogging world will always be here!

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  9. I feel the same. I find myself trying to keep up with other people's blogs and challenges that I am too busy for my family. I need, no HAVE to stop. If something happens to me, the blog world really doesn't care, it's my family that does and I need to give them my time. Thank you Jhen for writing the words that I have been feeling!

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  10. Amen! I have been seeing this obsession in me over the past few weeks of blogging and all things blogs. It takes up many hours of my day...after day and have been slowly cutting back.

    Glad you were able to see this in yourself as well and put a stop to it. Enjoy your lovely family!!

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  11. Dont take this weirdly at all, but im REALLY proud of you. It takes alot to confess this publicly and I think it will really challenge alot of others who struggle with the same thing. Thankfully, my blog is so small scale and lame that this hasn't been a struggle for me, but I pray if it ever is, I will have the same grace and humility as you to acknowdledge it. And for the record, your honesty and "realness" has been one of this biggest things that I have loved about you and your blog and I treasure every post you share.

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  12. How freeing. Good for you. I think it's a great reminder that our blog space is just that. OURS. We can do with it what we want. We can write or not write. We can comment on other peoples blog's or not comment. We can spend hours blogging, or 10 minutes. Whatever you do, however you use it, what a blessing to just be aware. Thanks for the reminder.

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  13. I know this may sound fake, but I feel the EXACT same! It's gotten so bad the husband has talked to me about it and I am truly embarrassed. I've been obsessing over my posts and followers...Questioning am I not pretty, do I talk about Christ too much, is it because I'm black......UGH!!! It's nauseating. THANK YOU FOR THIS POST!!! I'm freeing myself as well!!

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  14. You go girl. I'm cheering you on as you balance it all out. And I thank you for the reminder that we dont have to loose our real lives to blog... I can totally see where you are coming from. Btw, your daughter is gorgeous!

    Blessings to you! :)

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  15. beautiful post. it's hard sometimes to find balance. my blog's not as popular as yours, but just today my husband said "you don't need to write back to EVERY comment".

    it let me know i need to be better about blogging vs. real life. real life must always win. :)

    have a great weekend with your beautiful family!

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  16. oh. How I can related. Everyday that I hit post I pray Lord who cares!! It's so easy to get caught up in what others want or what you think others need or just getting stuck in this little false reality the blog world can create. I'm not saying that was you but I definitely have struggled with those thoughts in the past few months just because... I can be quite darn self-seeking. I pray that we be women of faith and that we would seek to encourage and build up not just our sisters and friends in the blog world but in the real world that Christ has given us as well. May we live it out boldly!! love your transparency girl!

    ♥Chetreanna/CheChe

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  17. oh, i can so relate! i haven't blogged in a few days and honestly, it was such a blessing just living life with my husband and little one and not on the computer. don't get me wrong- i love to blog- but i'm reminded that my main priorities come first! :) so amen and amen! ;)

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  18. Wonderful!



    http://thebookness.blogspot.com

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  19. such a sweet and fun post! I love her little pool :D

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  20. Sometimes I get too caught up in my blog, too. I find myself constantly thinking about what I can do to make it better, what blog post I can write next. Then times like this weekend happen...where we unexpectedly traveled out of town and had a very busy schedule, then I got sick. And so no blog post has been written since last Thursday. And ya know what?? The world didn't end. And I bet the people who really care to read my blog will still read it when I finally get my next post up. And in the meantime, my husband and son got some devoted time from me. :) So I'm right there with ya. Thanks for sharing this post.

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  21. So happy you are back!! I've missed you! :)

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  22. Amen sister. Beautifully.... beautifully put.

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  23. love your blog! too adorable!

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  24. your daughter is seriously precious.

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  25. So beautiful! Her eyelashes are amazing!

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