Monday, May 2, 2011

The End of an Era

I'm not that private.  But I am obsessed.

I've been having sleepless nights going over conversations in my head with people that I would probably never talk to face to face.  Why is that?  Well, because I am too involved on Facebook.

And after 2am wake ups that find me hunched over under the sheets with my cell phone lit up reading through status updates, facebook messages, or random comments, I have finally come to realize I HAVE A PROBLEM

My problem isn't with anyone else.  It's with me.  I write without thinking and I really am exhausted emotionally from the responses I've received through my own ignorance.  The problem isn't facebook.  The problem is me.

I've recently read a book called, Radical by David Platt which challenged my entire understanding of life in general.  Through it, I dug deeper into Scriptures and found that I have a deeper desire to be more intimate with people.  I long for friendships that challenge me and inspire me.  I want to be personable and real with more than just images and words on a computer screen.

And as days have passed, I have realized that what I have invested most in my facebook profile has limited my investment into more intimate relationships.  And although I've received some amazing, encouraging and challenging emails and comments through facebook, I've received just as much condemnation in it as well.  And the truth is, I'm not strong enough to deal with it.  I'm just not.

When I cry to my husband over words I've received, he asks, "well, why did you invite it with your status update?"  And aint that the gosh honest truth.  Although I don't always feel like I deserve it, I did invite it.  So I have to remove the invitation all together and say goodbye to an era I am having a hard time letting go of.

And in letting go, I realized how much I've allowed my own identity to be in a virtual profile.  WOW.  I said it.  I was finding my identity in the photos I uploaded to an album, or the responses I would receive on my status updates; good or bad.  And that is so far from the person I really want to be.

So I finally say goodbye.

However, connecting with people is important.  So in order to remain connected with accountability, I've found a creative way to connect with my dearest via facebook by creating a more impersonalized account that will link and update on our adventures in photography and blogging.  Much like this blog does.  And the best part about it... no notifications linked to my cell phone!



  1. I just love you! And I think you are an amazing person and a beautiful vessel that pours out the love that God plants deep in your heart to others =) I am so blessed to be one who you have spilled out on!

  2. I know this stems from alot more than last night but you should know that you are not the only person that struggles in this area. I see things all the time on FB that hurt my feelings and literally bring me to tears because ive said something that causes conflict, or I see something that I dont understand, or I read about an event with friends that I wasnt made a part of. FB is a sucker inner and its hard to walk away from it for fear of 'missing out'. I often delete my account after going through one the above stated scenarios. And then after a month I always return to it. Jhen you have a sincere heart. Your humility and love is contagious. Just know that the work you are doing IN HIM is, IS making a difference in this world. Im certain that when you get to heaven you will be greeted by God and He will look at you and say "Well done good and faithful servant!" I love you so, my friend ♡

  3. I love your ability to stay accountable, your bravery and honesty. It is beautiful!
    God bless

  4. good girl, way to go, I hear you on this subject. We like the 'real Jhen not the profile Jhen anyway, you have so much to offer.

  5. It's like you've taken words right out of my own heart!! These past few months have challenged me too: I had a huge breaking down where I realized that I wasn't 'typing' appropriately and that Facebook is really just a horrible way to communicate. I am so much more personal -- I want to talk face to face with people like you mentioned. The problem is, EVERYONE I know doesn't live in our town!! Not one person! So often times I get stuck between wanting to have fellowship and dealing with the negativity of FB. It seems everyone takes everything the complete wrong way. It is so frustrating and has been emotionally exhausting to me too.

    Slowly, and cautiously . . i am learning with the Promise of God -- to use Facebook how HE wants me to and with moderation like HE wants me to. I hope that you too can find that very delicate balance. I will be praying for you. And please know that I am always right there to be a 'good' FB friend -- and that I know things are sometimes (or often) mistaken with words. I love ya!

    Oh and THANK YOU. When you talked about how your 'identity' was in your profile -- God really opened my eyes to how I do the exact same thing. Your words have brought attention to something Satan had been scheming in my Heart! Thank you Girl!! :) I need to remember that "I" am not my profile or my blog -- "I" am God's daughter and nothing less -- no matter what people say on my status or how they misjudge me over and over again. <3

  6. I bet it was SO hard getting to that point. You're a brave woman. I'm finding I check FB a bazillion times a day out of boredom, yet finding my disinterest in it growing. I hardly post status updates or comment anymore yet I'm always 'checking up' on people.

    Ironically I commented on someone's status today and was irritated they didn't acknowledge me but instead everyone else that commented. I deleted it in frustration. All this meaning, I'm way to involved in my 'status' on FB.

  7. I recently got rid of facebook too just because it was robbing my time that I could have spent with my daughter and husband. You explained it perfectly:)

  8. I think a lot of people feel the same way. I get caught up in silly things on FB or my blog and really it's all nothing. You're not alone!

  9. I'm so with ya on this post...I took a 6 week total break from Facebook...posted my reasons why...but when I came back I basically deactivated all notifications and it has made a huge difference.
    Facebook is not real life....
    I've found some kindred spirits in blog friendships, but nothing replaces those real life relationships where people know ya inside and out.
    Interested to see how you feel a few days from now. For was surprisingly freeing.
    God will let you know the boundaries that are best for you and your famiiy...drawn to you through your willingness to seek balance.

  10. I really relate with this post - I hate how much I rely on Facebook & how many notifications I get a day, I really need to just wean myself off it! Sending you lots of encouragement! XX

  11. facebook is a tricky one, isn't it? during lent i had a limit of one visit a day. it was hard as i was so used to checking it every time i had a notification!! it was good though - meant that when i was on i was very intentional and focused, making sure i returned emails, visited people that i needed to touch base with, etc. i wasted a lot less time! anyway, i'm getting off tangent a little with why you're adjusting your facebooking... but just wanted to say - you go girl! :) love your heart.

  12.'s totally least it's the world wide web and we all don't know each other personal. I often thought about doing it but i am too chicken that a lot of people will write me and ask why i deleted them and getting a tons of adds after that. So i am just waiting and maybe i'll do it someday.
    Do whatever you want as long as you're happy with it.