It didn't seem that long ago that I was waking up to the sound of my husband firmly informing the nurse to bring our new baby to us. I had been passed out for a couple of hours and had yet to consciously hold my little newborn. The medication was wearing off and I was ready to imprint the image of my new family deep into my mind.
It's been almost three years later and I have this stunning little girl who constantly has new ideas that usually just find ways around our current system of "no's and yes'". She prefers Curious George over any other form of entertainment, and is learning how to let go of toys since mommy keeps selling them or giving them away. She continues to flow with the rhythm of whatever her daddy and I dive into and she continues to teach us the meaning of Grace.
If you were to ask me 4 years ago what kind of mother I'd be I would have beautifully described a woman I would later discover doesn't even exist. One that had it all together and lived solely for the children within her home. The kind of mother I am today is one that sometimes bribes her daughter to take pictures, will prefer to sit on the couch and watch Pocoyo with her than doing the dishes or laundry, learns how to approach each moment with a new opportunity for growth, co-sleeps because those extra cuddles make the future more bearable, and the kind of mother who truly loves her child enough to know that she isn't mine forever.
I don't always get it. But what I do get is that I have a short time to teach her the ways in which we believe will lead her to a life that is full. I have just a short moment in life to imprint love into her heart and show her just how to dance through some of life's toughest moments. I have just a short time to call her my little girl.